When do you know?

I’ve heard, time and time again, when you meet “the one”, you’ll just know. Umm? Really? Like, right then? Will I see a sign? Like an actual person holding a sign? Is confetti involved? Yeah, no. Not the case for me. None of the above. Not even close.

I’ve dated (I hate dating), I’ve been content being single (because I hate dating), I’ve been sad to be single (I’m human, we get lonely) and of course I’ve been in serious, long-term relationships where I thought I’d found “the one”. Again, nope! God just has a different plan for me. I used to hopefully love and listen to that “God Blessed the Broken Road” song and now I just wonder how long is this freaking road?!

Oh, you’re married? You met the love of your life in high school, or college? You’ve got the whole picket fence thing happening? (Me on the inside when I talk to you). See below.

img_2189-3I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry at all. I love you, I’m happy for you, meh, but it is extremely annoying. Dating sucks. It sucks even more when you’re 30ish to 40ish, everyone has baggage, a lot of us left in the dating pool have kids. Trying to set a date with someone who has a job, kids, maybe hits the gym a few times a week and/or has a hobby/volunteers, that leaves like 2.25 hours of free time, a week! Even when you can manage to make plans, your kid pukes, or your meeting is rescheduled, so you end up canceling anyway.

While you’re celebrating a 5, 10, 15 year anniversary I’m just over here like, “look, I’m a cat”. Yes, I was extremely late to the Snapchat party. I know what you’re thinking? How am I not married? Right? I know. It’s a mystery!img_2187

So, do I have a point? Yes! Dating sucks! Finding “the one” isn’t as simple as “when you meet the one, you’ll just know”. Please, married people, stop saying that. You’re on thin ice with me. Thin ice!

A few survival tips from one single-ish, 30 something to however old single you are. I think maybe I’ve almost got some of this figured out.

1.) No one is perfect. Stop looking for perfection. If you have a list of qualities, dump them. Find a person, not a list of traits you THINK will make you happy. Lists are for the grocery store, the office, spring cleaning, not for dating. Please don’t mistake this for lowering your standards. Don’t ever do that.

2.) Timing. Timing is a big friggin’ jerk! You can meet “the one” but if someone, somewhere forgot to invite timing to the party, you’re just in for some heartache. Abort mission! I repeat, abort mission!

 3.) Now to contradict myself, kind of. Don’t be so quick to write people off. I am/was famous for this, maybe a defense mechanism, maybe I have ridiculous expectations, maybe both. I was so set on “not settling” I would call it quits before things ever really got started. Again, kids puke, meetings get moved, life happens and when you’re dating past high school or college, dating happens around these things.

 4.) Mid-life dating demands patience and understanding. People will always show you who they are. Give them more than just a second to show you but when they show you, believe them. Don’t make excuses for people, similar to the before mentioned, don’t lower your standards.

Keep your standards high, be realistic and don’t give up.


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