When I started this blog my intent was to create an honest space, a space where I would always be transparent about my life, my experiences and my thoughts about, well, pretty much anything. Why? Honesty, authenticity…two of my favorite things. I think our society needs more of it, more real and less gloss. I’m so over gloss.
Some people may be thinking who cares about me and my experiences. Well, that’s okay, those people don’t have to read my blog. I know I’m not anyone famous, I don’t have some insane narrative, I’m just a “normal” person navigating life and sharing it with whoever wants to listen. I’m someone who hopes to make an impact, as tiny as it might be for someone, somewhere. I hope that in sharing my life, I can remind readers, whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever your circumstance, you’re okay, you’re going to be okay…it’s just okay. You’re not behind, you’re not lost, you’re just where you are and there is nothing wrong with that…your life can still be beautiful, even if it’s messy or not happening “in order”.
Also, I do this because I really just love to write. I lose time working on this blog and even though it has taken a lot more of my time than I anticipated, I still love it. I wake up early, I stay up late…and it never seems like a job or a chore. It centers me, it forces me to reflect on my own life, and I love engaging with readers. For anyone who has shared their story with me, thank you, I don’t take that for-granted. I think of you, I remember your stories and it truly is my privilege.
So, I think I have done what I said I was going to do. I have been honest and real. I’ve shared stories about my son, my journey as his mom, my opinion on a couple of somewhat political matters (questionable call, I know), I fell in love, only to go through a break-up shortly after and I shared it all. I’ve also shared stories of grief with you. I knew grief would be a part of my narrative because of Luke, my relationship with him, losing him and my life after loss…its all shaped who I am today, for better or worse. Organically, in sharing those parts of my story; my blog, my social networks spaces, even my poems all seemed to become about grief.
I realized how many of you feel alone in your grief, how desperately you still want to share your grief with someone. You want to share memories of your person but you feel your public timeline has run out. People, well-intended, say or do the wrong things…the list goes on and on. The theme? The bottom line? Grief is sad and people don’t want to feel sad. So, is this a blog about grief? No, it’s a blog about life. At one point or another we will all experience grief and that’s life. Real life, even when it’s sad.
People die, couples get divorced, they break-up, maybe they stay together even though they’re not happy, maybe your spouse cheated, your kids are misbehaving, your son got arrested, your daughter is 16 & pregnant, you’re 30 (or 40 or 50) & you’re single, you lost your job, you’re depressed, you’re struggling at work or at home, you have postpartum, your brother is addicted to drugs, you’re in debt, you feel lonely, your uncle is in jail, your kids are driving you crazy, you need a break, you’re anxious…the scenarios are endless. We all have our “stuff” but through all of that crap we can still be and find happy! Let’s stop competing for best impression and start supporting one another, really allowing people to just be! How can we do that if we don’t know where they are? Let people be who they are, where they are and make that okay for them.
Please, if you take anything away from my blog, let it be that we are all human and happy is relative. “Normal” is relative. Make your own happy, it isn’t a tangible thing, you create it. I hope we can be more honest about what makes us unhappy. I’m not suggesting we rant & rave. I am not promoting negativity but I am hoping for real, show the world the real you. I think if we’re honest with ourselves and others about the fact that sometimes we aren’t happy, or we have “stuff”, there would be less pressure to fit a mold, we would have fewer problems, less anxiety, maybe we’d feel more “normal”. How many of your problems have been compounded because you just didn’t want anyone to find out? Stop that. It’s okay.
Make your own happy!
Ironically, I think being more honest about what makes us unhappy, would make our society happier. Again, a blog about life.
Xo – SMP