Life

The firsts of grief…

All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe, it was happening, I was having a panic attack. I got to my car and drove across the street to the cemetery, I just wanted to be close to Luke and I needed a “safe place” …

Life

I Want More Space.

Space for love, happiness, forgiveness, peace with my past, hope for my future. I want space to let go of what was said, what wasn’t, what never will be said or heard. I want more space to celebrate my successes and less space for criticizing myself. I want space to grow, to help, to continue to heal, not only myself, but others.

Life

Balancing Grief on Special Occasions…

As I was getting ready this morning, I couldn’t help but to think of Luke, my heart was a little heavy. Special occasions of any kind can serve as triggers because they’re so memorable, just the date on the calendar…you know you shared it with your person, it cements the time they’ve been gone, or… Continue reading Balancing Grief on Special Occasions…

Life

Forgiving February

Here it is, only the beginning of January and I’m already starting to think about you. I am terrified of you. I beg you, February, be kinder to me this year than you were last, and I promise to meet you half way.

Life

Peace by piece…

Experiencing grief takes you down a painful path, you lose pieces of yourself, some you get back, others you don’t. There is no coming out on the “other side” because once you really experience grief, your path, your direction changes entirely and you’re just not going that way anymore.

Life

The fight of his life…

Cancer. I think we all love someone who has been impacted, or you know someone who loves someone, maybe you are that someone. I am someone who loved someone. My someone was 33 at diagnosis, and passed at the age of 34. As I sit here, a year and nearly nine months later I still… Continue reading The fight of his life…