Life

Right There in Black & White

I love to write. Writing centers me, it calms me and it helps me process my own feelings when everything feels like a jumbled mess inside my head and heart. I started this blog not having a plan. I felt I had a story to tell and I wanted to share it but I didn’t… Continue reading Right There in Black & White

Life

Plan B. Option C.

Don’t say it shouldn’t bother you. If it bothers you, it bothers you and that’s completely fine. You’re not wrong for being upset by these comments! Not at all! I think it perfectly acceptable to tell people how you feel.

Life

Someone Would Notice…

Your life, your beating heart, the capacity to feel the sun on your face…some days, if they can be, maybe those things have to be enough. I have seen darkness, darkness I didn’t think the sun could touch, but here I am, and I am so thankful for that sun.

Life

When a heartbeat was just a heartbeat…

I used to rest my head on a chest, next to heart that no longer beats.

Life

Answering your FAQs: The Dreaded Dating Question…

I couldn’t help that I wasn’t just over him because this man was doing certain things that Luke didn’t do. A relationship isn’t a list of traits on paper, it’s your heart, it’s your soul. I hated feeling like I had to defend that.

Life

Just letters on a sign…

His sign, while still special, but it’s really just letters on a board. His name is now just a name, not a person, with a beating heart, he is a memory. In memory of…

Life

The firsts of grief…

All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe, it was happening, I was having a panic attack. I got to my car and drove across the street to the cemetery, I just wanted to be close to Luke and I needed a “safe place” …

Life

I wish my mom could see this…

For the first time, ever, I think I caught the smallest glimpse of what it must be like to lose someone so special, to miss someone and to miss them forever. I wondered how many times my Mom has had that thought over the years.

Life

Balancing Grief on Special Occasions…

As I was getting ready this morning, I couldn’t help but to think of Luke, my heart was a little heavy. Special occasions of any kind can serve as triggers because they’re so memorable, just the date on the calendar…you know you shared it with your person, it cements the time they’ve been gone, or… Continue reading Balancing Grief on Special Occasions…

Life

Picking up the pieces…

We still have this bag, it is still filled with loose Lego pieces that may never get put back together, but he has the pieces and for him, that seems to be enough. It’s still his and Luke’s. It all made sense.