Life

Right There in Black & White

I love to write. Writing centers me, it calms me and it helps me process my own feelings when everything feels like a jumbled mess inside my head and heart. I started this blog not having a plan. I felt I had a story to tell and I wanted to share it but I didn’t… Continue reading Right There in Black & White

Life

Plan B. Option C.

Don’t say it shouldn’t bother you. If it bothers you, it bothers you and that’s completely fine. You’re not wrong for being upset by these comments! Not at all! I think it perfectly acceptable to tell people how you feel.

Life

Someone Would Notice…

Your life, your beating heart, the capacity to feel the sun on your face…some days, if they can be, maybe those things have to be enough. I have seen darkness, darkness I didn’t think the sun could touch, but here I am, and I am so thankful for that sun.

Life

How Long is Forever?

I will preface this entry with a huge dose of honesty! I don’t typically struggle with honesty but this is a bit tough for me to admit. I am lonely, I have been feeling lonely. Not lonely in the sense that I am alone a lot. I am surrounded by amazing people who love me,… Continue reading How Long is Forever?

Life

When a heartbeat was just a heartbeat…

I used to rest my head on a chest, next to heart that no longer beats.

Life

Answering your FAQs: The Dreaded Dating Question…

I couldn’t help that I wasn’t just over him because this man was doing certain things that Luke didn’t do. A relationship isn’t a list of traits on paper, it’s your heart, it’s your soul. I hated feeling like I had to defend that.

Life

When They Say the “Wrong” Thing…

Nothing about grief is rational, so when you have someone who has a fairly rational take on very irrational feelings and they try to rationalize the situation, that’s probably not going to work.

Life

Just letters on a sign…

His sign, while still special, but it’s really just letters on a board. His name is now just a name, not a person, with a beating heart, he is a memory. In memory of…

Life

The firsts of grief…

All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe, it was happening, I was having a panic attack. I got to my car and drove across the street to the cemetery, I just wanted to be close to Luke and I needed a “safe place” …

Life

I Want More Space.

Space for love, happiness, forgiveness, peace with my past, hope for my future. I want space to let go of what was said, what wasn’t, what never will be said or heard. I want more space to celebrate my successes and less space for criticizing myself. I want space to grow, to help, to continue to heal, not only myself, but others.