If it makes you cry when you write it, it’s good. This one made me bleed. Xo – Steph
I couldn’t help that I wasn’t just over him because this man was doing certain things that Luke didn’t do. A relationship isn’t a list of traits on paper, it’s your heart, it’s your soul. I hated feeling like I had to defend that.
His sign, while still special, but it’s really just letters on a board. His name is now just a name, not a person, with a beating heart, he is a memory. In memory of…
All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe, it was happening, I was having a panic attack. I got to my car and drove across the street to the cemetery, I just wanted to be close to Luke and I needed a “safe place” …
We’re flawed, we’re going to make mistakes…loving someone or caring for them doesn’t exempt us from the possibility or the ability of hurting them, if anything it gives us more power to do so. How ironic that the ones who love us have more power to hurt us than strangers.
Space for love, happiness, forgiveness, peace with my past, hope for my future. I want space to let go of what was said, what wasn’t, what never will be said or heard. I want more space to celebrate my successes and less space for criticizing myself. I want space to grow, to help, to continue to heal, not only myself, but others.
Let someone love you, for who you are, when you think no one is looking. Xo – S
Managing being Momma, even on the “dad days” meant that yesterday he probably ate too much junk food, I suggested a movie because it was dark and maybe he wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t as present as I wanted to be. We were doing something, without me having to do anything. I’m a Mom, I’m not an expert at being a Mom…I don’t think anyone is. I’m just doing the best I can.
It’s hard for me to admit that maybe I haven’t always been the kind of mom I’ve wanted to be. So, here is what I know, with every fiber of my being, I know my son knows how much I love him. I know I’ve done my best and I know he knows that, too.