There are moms all over the world, who will wake up tomorrow, on Mother’s Day, and it will be just like any other day. Diapers, breakfast, cartoons, no sleeping in…business as usual. There will be no homemade cards, no pasta necklaces or breakfast in bed because the kids are too young to know or care.
For the first time, ever, I think I caught the smallest glimpse of what it must be like to lose someone so special, to miss someone and to miss them forever. I wondered how many times my Mom has had that thought over the years.
It’s hard for me to admit that maybe I haven’t always been the kind of mom I’ve wanted to be. So, here is what I know, with every fiber of my being, I know my son knows how much I love him. I know I’ve done my best and I know he knows that, too.
I am the only person who can give my son a happy mom who loves life, he deserves that regardless of our circumstances. He gets one childhood, I get one shot at being his mom, the kind of mom I want him to remember, a happy mom who took time to do fun things. I can’t and won’t waste that opportunity, not for anything.
Thank you for praying for my broken heart even though your own heart is shattered. Thank you for giving me permission to move forward. Thank you for knowing me well enough to know that I would need your permission. Thank you for giving me space and freedom to express my grief in any way I’ve needed to.